True Forgiveness to Extramarital Affair.

Apart from rage and hurt from your spouse's affair, the cheated would be in conflict and in confusion as it is not so easy to divorce because of children, finance, social and other issues. As time goes by, there would be advices from people around and sometimes the cheating spouse would ask for forgiveness. This will make the cheated get rid of the idea of divorce. The cheated spouse would self-reason that it is useless to be in rage or in anger and get a divorce. In the end the cheated forgives and make up his/her mind to get along well.

However, to the eyes of the expert, it is not wise to be back to normal as if nothing happened without hurt, rage and betrayal treatment. In general, forgiving an affair means to look away from the incident and turn back to former couple life. This is like giving the cheating spouse his/her indulgence.

The problem here, in which the treatment of rage and hurt is disregarded, it is just like living with a bomb called couple problem not properly solved. This will bring an unseen barrier between the two, make things impossible to communicate, and the both the couple would become sensitive to small mistakes and problems. These will aggravate couple problems even more.

In this sense, a true forgiveness comes when the rage and hurt is properly treated, and the cause of affair is analyzed and to understand and care for the cheating is possible.

By this, I do not mean that the cheating should not be forgiven at all. What I mean is that it is important that after forgiveness, happy and pleasing couple life should be sought so that misfortune can turn into fortune.

Thus, if the couple has not developed a happy life after the affair problem, it means that the affair problem is not solved and there should not be forgiveness yet. Simply forgiving IS the easiest way to solve the affair problem.

However, forgiveness should not be used as a way to simply get away from troubles and pain. It is so painful and difficult but looking away from affair problem because of this is like throwing away future couple happiness.
Therefore true forgiveness comes only after the rage and hurt is treated, cause of affair is found and when mutual understanding and care is accomplished. The changes in the cheated will bring the change in the cheating and when the new life is possible, forgiveness comes naturally. Do you want to forgive your cheating spouse? Treat your rage and hurt first. This is the first step to the True Forgiveness.