Rage Therapy should continue

When the affair of one's spouse is revealed, rage outbursts and endless fights and quarrels occur hurting each other continuously. In many cases, husbands and wives want to be away from such pains and give up improving the situation thinking that the rage and hurts cannot be cured. This will result in divorce or helplessness.

However, amongst these problems and troubles, those who have will to solve the affair problem comes to visit our offices. The terrible rage reduces and it is possible to look at the cheater in an objective way. Fights stopped and there will be far less hurts. Now the cheater and the cheated becomes calm and remains in some way more comfortable than before.

This rage treatment is only the first step in the whole process of solving an affair problem and is a very basic and a must which is not that difficult to solve. Through this process, the couple hope for couple happiness and design their future. The problem here is that there are many clients who choose to stop therapy as the rage is reduced, and it is very wrong and not right.

1. The clients are satisfied with what they have already achieved. When the rage is somewhat treated, severe fights and quarrels get reduced and the couple get more comfortable. It is at this moment that the affair problem seem less and not important and the couple tend to stay that way. However, this comfort does not prolong for a long time. Sudden rage and pain repeat themselves according to the amount and the situation of the rage. As the power to cope with hurts and pains is weakened and accordingly the pain starts to get larger.

2. With the rage treated, the couple tend to feel confident that they can solve the problems by themselves. They try many different ways to solve this problem. However, the solution to an affair problem should be designed in detail and has to be planned otherwise, the self-respect and self-confidence might be lost and the dependency will grow larger resulting more serious problem than before.

Then, why is this happening? It is because the couple think it is easy and possible to solve their own problem by themselves, as they have been treated with rage and as they expect to have happier couple life.

Clients think that affair solution is as easy as rage solution. They have thought that the affair problem has not been solved because of rage and now that the rage is treated, they find it probable that they can work out the affair problem. Thus, they stop coming to see the counselor.

Now the clients feel comfortable and they start to think the time, cost and other inconveniences. It reality, a lot of clients refrain from continuous counseling due to economic burdens. I say, that this is very serious and a big mistake. True, the cheated feels comfortable and the rage is lessened but the remains of rage, the hurts from affair, are left untreated and these provide reasons for recurrence of rage. At this time, the rage might not be big but the pain the cheating feels gets bigger and the situation will become serious.

Another mistake is that the clients think of affair problem as a mere couple reunion. Detailed plans and implementation which will bring changes in both the husband and wife is needed. Also encouragement, willingness and efforts are necessary.

The change means the changes in habits, behavior and speech. It is impossible to make any kinds of efforts when what to be changed and how to be changed are not clarified. Couples tend to be reacting unconsciously against each other, mistaking the intents of each other’s and the rage will spur. As a result, when the affair problem is not solved as they have hoped after the treatment of rage, the pain and the difficulties are so naturally in order.

During the course of rage treatment, the past couple relation has to be recovered and the new couple happiness has to be designed. Body and the mind of both the husband and wife have to be changed and the habits to realize couple happiness has to be settled.

Therefore, after the rage is treated, a true affair solution has to be advised and the changes have to be made systematically. This is the only way to achieve a stable happiness and a solution to affair problems for each couple. An affair problem can never be solved by the efforts of the couple alone. It will only bring more pains and troubles.

Once again, it should be reminded that the affair problem is far from general couple problems and it involves totally different psychological operation of human beings. This is why a help from an expert on affair solution is in order.