Importance of Self-respect and Confidence

We find that most of my female clients tend to be lacking in self-respect and confidence and show high dependency on their husbands. They undergo through tremendous rage and deep depression. This is easily found during the course of self-finding assignment as a part of affair solution counselling.

“ No matter how hard I try, my husband still is having an affair. Right?”
“ My husband is angry at me because I am making efforts”
“ My husband is enjoying himself, Why should I try?”
“ I could not do it because my husband mad me outburst.”
“ I don’t think that he will come back even if I try”

These words are in fact the signs of dependency on the husband. These show the low self-respect and confidence. It is easy to see that all the talks are around the husband. In other words all the client’s words and behavior is focused on the reaction of the husband. This makes the client find it difficult to implement the tasks and feel distrust and uneasiness. The psychological pain will never stop.

In an affair counseling, it is important that the client recover self-respect and confidence. These are the basic and core psychological status that can lead to the solution of affair problem. Calm psychological status is the key in solving the problem and these two factors are the very core of it. Without the calmness of mind, the client will give in the willingness to solve the problem as everything will be decided by the reaction of the husband (cheater). Doubts and uneasiness will remain and negative feelings will make the client feel that the effort made is useless.

In the end, the wife (the cheated) is likely to give up. It is the calmness of mind that brings the strong willingness to solve the affair problem. This is the why achieving the calmness of mind of the cheated is the priority in solving an affair problem. The very first target set is the calmness of mind. It is done together with rage treatment, recovering of self-respect and confidence and reducing the dependency on the husband so that the past unhappy habit can be changed and that the client will find it possible to design her own happy life through self-examination.

It requires a lot of effort to amend the past wrong doings and personality. The expert counselor is beside to help the client but without the strong willingness to be changed from the client, it will be difficult to solve the problem. The rage treatment and recovery of self-respect and confidence and lowering the dependency on the husband is necessary. This will give the power to solve the affair problem.