Affair Sex - Mistaken Love

From years of our counseling, it is easy to find that most of the cheating spouse consider sex with adulteress/adulterer as love. They say that they love her/him. This tendency can be interpreted that the cheating spouse is not aware of true love and outrageously believe his/her sex as love. This is similar in both cases regardless of husband or wife's cheating. If you look into various books and articles about love, it is easy to find love is approached differently according to the gender of the writer. As a specialist of affair problems, these approaches are wrong. It is deplorable when an affair problem occur, people would reach for these misleading books and information.

Affair sex is taken as love mostly because they do not realize how pleasing and important couple sex is. When they find a pleasure different from their spouse's, they would feel it as love.

However, if you look closely into affair sex, you will find that it is meaningless and false and that if the adulteress/adulterer takes advantage of it, the result might be serious.

1. Most of the cases affair happens when the couple sex is not pleasing. Instinct will require for the need to find a partner to solve the sexual desire. This is why affair sex is felt stronger and more pleasing. In this case, when the couple sex is pleasing and the relation gets recovered, there will be no need to have an affair.

2. Affair is considered as love because of the feeling of good communication and mutual understanding. When any sex relation (affair or normal couple) is pleasing and happy, communication will become better and any matter can be discussed and both party will eventually feel happiness.

In other words, if there is problem in couple communication and lack of mutual understanding exists, it can in fact reflect that couple sex is not pleasing. Therefore communication and mutual understanding in the case of affair is ONLY a minor and subordinate role for having a sex. It is important to understand that good communication and mutual understanding has nothing to do with love.

3. Affair is considered as love because of the feeling of care.

This also is a way to have a pleasing sex. Care will naturally bring sex. If couple sex is pleasing, mutual care will arouse. It is so natural. This is not so only in affair relation. In other words, affair finds a niche in a marriage and will find its place and makes one feel false love.

In conclusion, as affair sex aggravates, less the pleasure of couple sex. This will induce good communication, sense of mutual understanding and care and happiness, which will in turn make the cheating spouse to feel falsely in love. On the other hand, the cheating spouse will feel his/her spouse as tiring and difficult to deal with. This happens because the cheating spouse is not aware that only pleasure from sex is making him/her to be into misleading sense of love.

Then, what is True Love? Love relies on mutual trust, responsibility and duty. Love does not hurt each other. Love brings mutual understanding and care and to sets a mutual goal in life.

The answer is therefor, "Affair Relationship = Sex Partner." Affair relation is only sex partner relationship and it is can never be and is not Love. However, affair makes one to misunderstand sex partnership as love. We wish that now, no one would take affair relation as love. Thinking pleasure from sex is love is a perverted self-reasoning and it will only lead a person into a complete destruction.