Stress and Depression

In understanding Affair Psychology, it is important to differentiate and analyze the stress and depression. Stress and depression have to be treated otherwise they will affect the total life and will eventually lead to such misery in life.

In an affair problem, stress and depression become a serious issue. This is because stress and depression in affair can lead to rage, hurt and divorce and sometimes even to murder.

<Hypothesis in Affair Psychology>

Men do not possess same mind as women do therefore they don’t feel the hurting in the same way women do. However they are very sensitive to stress and rarely get depressed. When the idea of a man is stressed it has a strong obsession to get out of stress as he does not have a buffer to ease it. Woman on the other hand does not get stressed much but can be hurt in her mind which could lead to depression and has an instinct to hurt herself if not expressed and oppressed within herself.  

So the husband has tendency to become stressed not depressed. Man does not get hurt as a women does. When he says he’s hurt, it could mean he is stressed. Stress can be much tougher for men to endure because he has no same mind as woman does. A man would express different words and actions according to the level of stress and his own personality. Also, each man shows different ability in solving the stress according to his endurance and idea. When the stress is too much, he would change his idea or go extreme as to get away from the stress. This is the instinct that no reason or intention can control. Under a severe stress, instinct gets activated automatically.

When the man is under stress and in a position where he is not able to control the situation with his reason and intention, then abnormal character, action or words can be manifested. This should be understood that the man is under a strong stress and his instinct is acting so as to get away from the stress. His trial to get away from stress is immediate and instant. The man does not endure stress well and his instinct tells him to find a quick way, may be through diminishing the stress by his reasoning, changing ideas, modifying personality, or acting and speaking abnormally.

This is because his instinct tells him to find a way to feel comfortable. At this point, sexual instinct - the man’s basic instinct – becomes activated as a result of strong stress and lack of reasoning capacity. This is the point where the husband’s affair occurs.

Therefore, a man in a stressful working conditions or those with weak stress resistance tend to repeat extramarital affair. In other words, the instinct to get comfortable from stress turns into sexual instinct and the man will fall into pleasure and lust.

In case of a woman, she gets hurt when stressed. When the stress is controlled by her willingness and reasoning, it will not remain as hurt. However, when this is not controlled, it will turn into hurt of mind as a solution to cope with stress. This is because her instinct does not need an immediate comfort.

Stress not controlled by the woman’s reasoning evokes sacrifice and dedication and she would try to understand and receive the stress. This remains as hurt of mind. The woman would try to endure and overcome the hurt over a long period of time. Unlike man, woman tries to solve the stress through considerable amount of time. Such stress in the mind that had taken a long time to be solved becomes her hurt of mind.

These hurts of mind can be piled up in a woman. A woman becomes resistant to stress because she has too many hurts piled up within her mind. When they become too much to handle, she can no longer control her situation and her willingness and reasoning can no longer contain them. This is when a woman falls into depression. Therefore, a woman’s depression is from her piled hurts, and the rage is the moment when all these hurts are exploded in an uncontrollable manner. Hurts from her husband’s affair itself is not a big problem but the rage that has exploded accompanies excruciating pain. Especially, the depression from rage is severe as the rage gets larger.

Once she feels depressed, she can no longer receive her hurt and the depression becomes even deeper. From that moment on, every little stress will become hurt with which she cannot deal and makes her depression becomes more serious. This is the reality of a woman’s depression.

In conclusion, to treat a woman’s depression, the utmost important thing is to treat the hurt of mind first. She has to be treated so as to control the hurt with her reasons and willingness.

It should be noted that men and women have different “hurt of mind”. A man’s instinct tend to eliminate the stress immediately, on the other hand, woman treats her stress in her mind and turn it into her hurts. These are all because the instinct wants to be comfortable. This is why man does not understand woman’s hurt and woman, man’s stress. This is because they are totally different in dealing the stress themselves.