Affair is not the beginning of marital issues

Generally, we say the affair means marriage problem or couple problem. Efforts are made through information searching or counseling so that the affair problem is solved and the depression or other psychological problems that are accompanied are treated. Especially the thought that the marriage is in trouble makes it harder and scary for the clients to be calm. It would be hard to swallow but the truth of the fact is that there has already been marriage problem may from a long time ago.

When you look back, something has changed from your spouse, especially regarding sex. In other words, there were symptoms or signs of warning that the marriage is in crisis. The real problem was that it was not noticed and was disregarded. It is so easy to prove this from thousands of counseling cases.

- Sex seems meaningless and not enjoyable
- indifferent and meaningless words
- self-centered thoughts rather than the understanding of the other
- no regard for what the other wants

These symptoms, left unchanged and prolonged, will lead to affair. Usually Sex problem which mostly develops into serious situation, is not dealt and the couple remains silent about this. Especially those couple who do not know sex well are exposed to bigger danger as they lack the ability to recognize the situation.

Marriage problem is not one-sided. It takes two to entangle. Marriage problem is caused by both the husband and the wife therefore it is wise for both of them to feel responsible in solving the marriage problem.

It has to be made clear however, the affair is not general marital issues. An affair is totally different from simple marriage or couple problem as it involves having sex with adulterer or adulteress and as it brings a death sentence to marriage. The answer to who is responsible is crystal clear. It is the cheater that is 100% responsible for the affair. We dare say the cheating husband is 100% responsible for his own affair. The husband is roughly 80% responsible even when his wife cheated or had an affair.

It’s never too late. It is wise to solve any kind of small marital problem and the problem of affair. Effort has to be made to set things right rather than having feeling of rage, trouble or hardships. When will you stop feeling rage, doubt about your husband / wife?

When will you stop fighting and quarrel?

Without recognizing the problem within yourself, it will be impossible to solve the affair problem. Without understanding the exact cause of the problem, a right solution cannot be found. Focusing on the affair itself will not solve the problem completely. Doing so will lead to endless fight and dispute, pointing fingers to each other. Both the husband and wife will be knocked down and the final decision will always be divorce as they say they have done everything they can. An affair problem is not a kind of a marriage problem. An affair problem is aftermath of total package of marriage problem.